From Heartbreak to Hope: Our Story of Conquering Infertility with Faith and Resilience
Infertility is a journey that redefines you. It’s a path filled with quiet longing, moments of hopelessness, and an unshakable ache for a dream that feels just out of reach. It challenges your spirit, tests your patience, and demands a resilience you didn’t know you had. For years, I wrestled with the heartache of negative pregnancy test results and the silent question of “Why me?” The journey was heavy, isolating, and at times, unbearably uncertain. Yet, it was in those moments of despair that I discovered my deepest strength, learned to surrender, and found the courage to hope again.
Now, as I sit here feeling the tiny flutters of life growing within me, words fail to fully capture the overwhelming joy and gratitude that fills my heart. This miracle is so much more than a positive test or a growing belly—it’s the culmination of unwavering faith, countless prayers, and a love story that refused to give up. I want to share this journey, not just to celebrate this beautiful chapter, but to offer hope to anyone who’s still walking through their season of waiting. You are not alone, and miracles do happen—even when they seem impossible.
For a visual timeline of our journey, please see our blog post, “Our Complete Journey Timeline.”
The Beginning of Our Journey
OUR FIRST POSITIVE TEST
In April 2020, in the midst of the uncertainty and fear of a global pandemic, we received the most unexpected and wonderful news—I was pregnant. My boyfriend (now husband), Bryson, and I were overjoyed. We couldn’t keep it to ourselves and quickly shared the news with our family and friends, basking in the love and excitement that surrounded us. For a brief, beautiful moment, the chaos of the world faded, and all I could see was the promise of our growing family.
But that joy was heartbreakingly short-lived. At our 10-week ultrasound, we were told our baby was growing much slower than expected. We clung to hope, believing that miracles could still happen. Two weeks later, while Bryson was at work on his night shift, our home was broken into while I was alone. I was terrified and shaken to my core. The very next day, I started bleeding. Two days after, I endured the physical and emotional agony of miscarrying our first child. The pain was unbearable, the blood loss substantial, and the experience utterly traumatizing. To make matters worse, due to the pandemic, I wasn’t allowed to seek care at the hospital—the beds were needed for COVID patients.
The loss left an ache in my soul that words could never truly capture. It wasn’t just the loss of a pregnancy; it was the loss of dreams, of first milestones, of a future I had already begun to imagine. But even in the shadow of that grief, a tiny spark of hope remained. It would take time, healing, and resilience to nurture it, but it was there, waiting to guide us forward.
TAKING SMALL STEPS FORWARD
In the months that followed our loss, grief became an ever-present companion. To cope with the emptiness and pain, Bryson and I turned to crafting—a simple, creative outlet that gave our hands and minds something to focus on when our hearts felt too heavy. What began as a hobby to distract us soon became the foundation for a dream. In June 2020, just two months after the loss, we opened the doors to our first small business (Local Kine Tingz) together. It wasn’t easy—grief doesn’t simply disappear with hard work—but creating something meaningful together made the unbearable just a little more manageable.
Through this season of loss and growth, we found clarity: we wanted to become parents. This realization bonded us even deeper. In September 2020, Bryson proposed, and in early 2021, we said “I do.” In the midst of this rebuilding phase, we also welcomed Oreo, our first dog, who brought joy and unconditional love into our home just when we needed it most.
Yet, despite our growing love and all the steps forward, there was still an ache we couldn’t ignore. We tried for two years to conceive on our own, with each passing month bringing its own wave of disappointment. Finally, with the support of Bryson’s job at the hospital, we turned to our local Kaiser fertility specialists for help. It felt like a new chapter—a fresh start filled with anticipation and the fragile hope of finally starting a family.
The journey of infertility is never a straight line, but for the first time in a long time, we felt we were moving forward. The possibility of new life felt close again, and with it, a renewed sense of purpose and a quiet excitement for what could be.
Navigating the World of Infertility
- Seeking Answers
After two years of trying naturally with no success, we knew it was time to seek professional help. Making that first appointment with a fertility specialist was both empowering and terrifying. I remember sitting in the waiting room, nervously clutching a clipboard of forms, silently praying for clarity, for answers, for something—anything—that would explain why we hadn’t conceived. Test after test was run. Bloodwork. Hormone panels. Ultrasounds. Bryson even underwent analysis. And yet, after months of poking, prodding, and waiting, we were handed a frustrating, yet common diagnosis: unexplained infertility. There was no clear reason. No definitive cause. Just… silence where answers should’ve been. It was both a relief and a fresh kind of heartbreak. - The Emotional Rollercoaster
Infertility doesn’t just affect your body—it reaches into every corner of your life. There were days when I couldn’t look at a pregnancy announcement without crying in the bathroom. Nights when Bryson would hold me while I whispered fears I didn’t even want to admit to myself. Was something wrong with me? Was this my fault? Would we ever become parents? But in that pain, we also found profound connection. We learned how to communicate better, how to truly support each other, and how to grieve as a team. Our love deepened, not despite the pain—but because we chose to walk through it together. - Exploring Options
We explored all the routes offered to us: ovulation tracking, timed intercourse, supplements, medications… We tried them all with cautious optimism. Some helped regulate my cycle. Others left me feeling emotionally raw and physically exhausted (specifically after I took Clomid—I responded better to Letrozole). Eventually, we were offered IUI, and after 3 failed attempts we began considering IVF. But deep down, I felt like my body and spirit needed something different. We weren’t saying no to modern medicine—we were just saying yes to slowing down and listening to our intuition.
The Turning Point
- Shifting Focus
In 2023, we decided to pause all treatments. I needed to come back to myself. We began focusing intentionally on whole-body wellness: nutrition, gentle movement, mindfulness, and rest. I started acupuncture and herbal support, not as a quick fix, but as a way to feel in tune with my body again. I began journaling daily, praying with renewed faith, and letting go of the crushing weight of needing to be in control. Bryson and I traveled more, laughed more, and embraced a life that wasn’t “on hold” anymore. We began living in the now—fully, unapologetically, and with open hearts. - Trusting the Process
There was a shift—spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I no longer woke up every day dreading what my body might not do. Instead, I woke up grateful. Grateful for Bryson, for our dog Oreo, for the family we were already building in our own beautiful way. And that’s when something unexpected happened. At my OB appointment, the doctor found that my uterus was covered in polyps and that I was born with a “uterine septum”. I was then told that I would need to undergo a D&C (dilation and curettage – a surgical procedure where the lining of my uterus would be scraped or suctioned out). We scheduled the procedure and then I went on to heal.
The Day Everything Changed
- Finding Out
It was a quiet evening in early June 2024—a month and a half since my procedure. I wasn’t expecting much. In fact, I believed that I had just had my period. I took an ovulation test to get a baseline reading, and it read “SUPER POSITIVE” (the lines were blaring red). This surprised me since my period ended just the day before… but then I remembered that sometimes ovulation predictor kits can pick up on HcG (pregnancy hormones). I took two pregnancy tests with me to the bathroom… and then I saw it. For the first time since my miscarriage… Two pink lines. Real. Bold. There. I gasped. Then I laughed. Then I cried so hard I could barely breathe. When I told Bryson, he froze. It wasn’t at all like the movies. Since we had experienced loss and heartbreak over and over again, he replied, “Don’t get excited babe. We don’t know if it’ll stick.” We held onto hope, and now I’m here blogging our story while I’m expecting to deliver our rainbow baby (a child born after a previous pregnancy loss, such as a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death.). - Looking Back
Every step, every setback, every tear and prayer led us here. The journey broke us open—but it also rebuilt us into something stronger, softer, and braver. I am not the same woman I was when we first started trying. I am more grounded, more faithful, and deeply grateful for every chapter that brought us to this one.
Lessons Learned and Words of Encouragement
- What Helped Us Most
- Faith over fear – Leaning into prayer and surrender gave us peace, even when we didn’t have answers.
- Community – Talking openly with close friends, online support groups, and our therapist made us feel less alone.
- Whole-body wellness – Prioritizing nutrition, rest, and emotional healing created space for my body to function optimally.
- Protecting joy – Finding joy in small things—even on the hardest days—helped us remember life was still worth celebrating.
- Messages of Hope
To anyone still in the thick of it: I see you. I honor your pain and your courage. Your story is not over, and the season you’re in is not your final chapter. Keep going. Keep trusting. Your miracle may not look exactly how you envisioned it—but it will be yours, and it will be beautiful.
Conclusion
As we prepare to welcome this baby into our lives, I carry with me all the versions of myself that have walked this road. The heartbroken one. The hopeful one. The one who held space for both grief and belief.
Thank you to everyone who has supported us, prayed for us, and stood beside us. You’ve helped carry us through.
If you’re on this path too, please know I’m here. You’re not alone. I’d love to hear your story, support you however I can, and walk alongside you in whatever season you’re in.
With love,
Kirsten Dawn
